I have been poisoned!!! (maybe)

*Some names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved

I [may] have been poisoned!

After spending 5 hours in a small car, making the long drive back from Fort Worth (and having to battle an old lady for the bathroom-seriously, it was like gladiators and the prize was getting to use the toilet before I peed myself), I was asked to do a good friend a favor. [let's call this friend Bob] Bob's truck is dead, for the umpteenth time. So Bob is in desperate need of a battery jump. Being the kind person that I am, or perhaps just delaying the oppressive love of my little kitten (did I say oppressive? I meant wonderful, beautiful, caring, adorable, unconditional love), I drove over to Bob's apartment.

I arrived just in time for dinner. Normally I love when Bob cooks, as I rarely cook myself and living off of potato chips and frozen TV dinners all the time is hardly healthy, but tonight I wanted none of it. In Fort Worth, I was trapped in the Land of Too Much Food (seriously, Katie's family kept feeding me). By now, all I really wanted was a shower and bed, not dinner.

I patiently waited for Bob to finish his dinner (don't ask me what it was, cause I have no idea), and then sat through Bob checking his email, Facebook, and Myspace. Finally, after all of this, I thought we were going to brave the frozen tundra outside and go fix his battery. But of course Bob has to [offer] me some cheesecake-and by offer I mean he said something along the lines of "I'm sick of this last piece being in the fridge, you and I are going to finish it off tonight before you leave". Loving cheesecake as I do, and being fearful of bodily harm if I should refuse, I accepted the cheesecake.

The first bite tasted a little funny to me.

Me: Uh, yeah that tasted a little funny. Are you sure this cheesecake hasn't gone bad?
Bob: (smelling the cake) No, it smells fine; looks fine. And my piece tastes just fine. Must be you. Try another.
Me: (after staring at my piece weighing the odds of how likely I am to get food poisoning verses my desire to eat cheesecake for a few moments) Okay.
*I try another piece*
Me: Mmm. Good. Okay, guess it was just me.
*We proceed to eat almost all of our pieces*
Bob: Uh, yeah that piece right there didn't taste so good. I see what you mean about it tasting funny.
Me: Yuck, yeah mine isn't tasting so good either. And the top looks a little funny.
Bob: Let me try one...yeah no, not good either.
Me: ....not sure I want to finish this.
Bob: me either.
Me: okay, let's throw it away.
Bob: yeah, chuck it all.

Now I'm just waiting to see if I come down with food poisoning or not.

How long until I'm in the clear? Surely a few hours of feeling alright should be enough?? Sadly, it's barely been one hour. Damn.

Of course, I still stand by the theory that Bob did it on purpose. I realized after I ate most of my piece that this is the same cheesecake that Bob made like 3 weeks ago, and it's just been sitting in the fridge ever since. That's probably WAY too long for cheesecake, isn't it?!? Not to mention the fact that a mutual friend of ours [let's call her Jill] reminded me how Bob has been eyeing my Boeing 757 for some time now.

And who wouldn't want my car?? Not only is it awesome, it only has 70,000 miles (did I mention it's a 1991), it doubles as a private jet, it has kick-ass California plates, and it has sweet cowboy hats sitting in the back window. Hello, can you say most awesome car ever??


**edit** starting to feel a little queasy. Could be purely psychological, could be the ten thousand pounds of food I've eaten in the last 72 hours, could be the cheesecake.