best and worst thing

Moving back home has been the best, and worst, thing that I've ever done for myself.

On the one hand, it's exactly what I needed as I have about $10 to my name. That last week before I moved home I went to the grocery store and could only afford to buy one thing. So I bought more cat food for my kitten Greta. I lived off of slightly moldy bread, tap water, and 100 calorie pack cookies for the last 2 days I was in my apartment.

I'm so broke right now, it's not even funny. Thanks to my [former] crap-hole apartment screwing me out of $184, I can't even go on my friend's bachelorette party trip to Padre. I can't buy gas for my car. I couldn't even buy aloe for my nasty sunburn last week. And thanks to our lovely economy, the only monetary assistance my parents can provide me is a roof over my head and some food (provided I don't eat too much and don't mind cheap food).

I say this is the worst thing I've done for myself because living with my family again is very hard. I'm not just talking about losing my independence and what not (because my parents are very flexible and I can go wherever, whenever-you know if I had money; they really don't care). Mostly I'm talking about adjusting to being around people again....(if you could see my editing of this blog, here's where you'd see a whole HUGE paragraph deleted. While it felt great to write that out, I'm just not ready to share that tidbit with anyone in the world who feels like reading my blog today).

Having no real study space has become a huge pain the last few days. My stuff and my parent's terrible-pack-rat-accumulated-crap is everywhere. They had been using my bedroom as a storage room, so now all that crap is all over the house, not to mention all the stuff from my apartment. I'm trying to find places for it, to put all my stuff (and theirs) away, but it's not going well. So I'm stuck sitting on my bed in my room for privacy. Attempting to study in the same room you've sat in for four days to get away from the crazy does not end well. Not only am I getting stir crazy, but my family won't leave me alone! I keep telling them I am studying, that I need peace and quiet and no distractions. Yet they keep coming to bother me. Tomorrow I am going to the library. I can't take it anymore.

I'm so upset/worked up/down/whatever about my current monetary and living situation that I'm back to not sleeping well again. Okay, to be fair, I never did sleep that great to begin with. Still, being wide awake at 3:30 am despite trying to sleep is quite annoying.

So if I jump in my car and show up at your doorstep randomly at an odd hour of the day, know it's my last-ditch effort to preserve what is left of my sanity by escaping.