check all that apply, part 2

With the dawn of another semester of nursing school (for some us our last semester!), I think it's time to test our knowledge and see just how much [or little] we retained over the break.

As an experienced RN with a new student assigned to you, which task is most appropriate to delegate to the nursing student??
a) inserting a new chest tube for your patient in room 245
b) mopping the floors on all 5 floors of the hospital
c) answering the phones and taking verbal orders from the doctors
d) none of the above. No nursing student should do ANY task as they are inexperienced idiots who will most likely kill all your patients before the end of the day.

When giving a SubQ injection, the needle breaks off in your patient's skin. What should you do first? (check all that apply)
a) swear loudly about the "piece of shit equipment they give me"
b) panic, as they never covered this in orientation
c) don't say anything and leave it in there. After all, he wasn't watching you stick him, so hey may never notice!
d) cry

You are caring for a 6 year old who has just expressed her concerns about being in the hospital over Christmas, worried that Santa won't be able to find her. How do you best respond to this? (check all that apply)
a) "Oh sweetie, you don't need to worry about that. Santa isn't real!"
b) "I wouldn't worry too much. You are very sick, so the chances of you making to Christmas are pretty slim."
c) "Well, I'd love to answer your question, sweetie, but this politically-correct, offend-no one world we live in dictates that I can't address any issue of religion without being fired."
d) "Who's Santa?"

You are working triage in the local ER. A man comes in holding a bloody cloth to his hand, saying he sliced it while carving a pumpkin. What should you do? (check all that apply)
a) tell him to "slap a bandage on that bitch and go home! stop wasting my time!"
b) refuse to help him as he was supporting that paganistic holiday Halloween; after all you are a devout christian and those heathens must not be tolerated!
c) hand him a paper towel and let him know the wait will be about 12 hours (that way it won't be on your shift, so you don't have to mess with the blood).
d) wish you had called in sick today, grab a suture kit, fix the man's hand, and send him packing